The Providence Journal: February 13, 2007
“And the Oscar goes to…..You!”
“Me?” As in, me who put the “you” in YouTube? I’ve been
dreaming of winning an Academy Award my whole life, even though I’m not,
technically, an actor. Could this finally be my year?
I still tear up when they remember to thank Mom &
Dad-and those are real tears Hollywood-albeit
at the end of a very long list of agents, managers and underarm Botox fixers.
Let me explain. Several months ago I won Time’s Person of
the Year award “You”. What a year it was for me to win “You”! Since then, I’ve
sworn off social climbing. The way to the top without leaving your house is
social networking sites.
The signature moment of last year’s Golden Globes Award show
occurred before the actual ceremony during the all-important live telecast of
the red-carpet arrivals. This is where the true YouTube moments happen.
The designer turned actor turned designer, Isaac Mizrahi,
greeted Scarlett Johansson with the obligatory “Who are you wearing”, this is
what passes for “Hello” in Hollywood, and then, while admiring her dress, he
groped her bosom. It’s okay. He’s gay! Coincidently he behaves just like my
Avatar!
I myself, or “You” as I am also known, have watched this
clip many times, for purely professional reasons! Apparently, it is through
this type of obsessive heterosexual behavior, whereby I put the “you” in YouTube, and determine just who is the what!
Before this column descends any further into Grammy
Awards-speak let me give Al Gore his due. Whereas the Dixie Chicks were
vindicated at the Grammy’s, so too shall “Al Bore” get redemption at the
Academy Awards. The environmentalist turned Vice-President turned
environmentalist deserves an Oscar for “An Inconvenient Truth” if only for doing
it the old-fashioned pre-YouTube way. He went around by foot for years
lecturing about global warming with a slideshow!
Social networking sites like YouTube and other digital
grassroots technologies have propelled the excellent documentary from the obscurity
of film festivals all the way to the forefront of public consciousness. When
Isaac Mizrahi gropes Al Gore on the red carpet, but asks him about his carbon
neutral tuxedo, you are watching 21st Century democracy in action.
This is what’s to come, someone tell the Shia’s and Shiite’s to tune in too!
Yes, the underlying theme at the Oscars this year will be
vindication. Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins will be celebrating the recent
election results and I say, whew! Relax you’re good looking. I just want to
enjoy what they’re wearing and that the actresses aren’t wearing very much at
all. I’ll do my part at home, and together, we’ll vote the next sexy, er, cause
it’s very own award, one YouTube boob at a time.
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