The Providence Journal: August 17, 2007
I cannot bite my tongue for any longer.
Rudy, you need to divorce Judith Nathan, and run for the
White House while you do it! It’s just
your style. Yes, you are presidential timber, but Judith is the woman that
every wife dreads her husband meeting at work. That kind of woman. Even in the age of “Desperate Housewives” she
cannot be allowed to be the First Lady of The United States.
Who are we, France?
Where they just almost elected Mrs. and Mr. Segolene Royal. A couple that is no
longer on speaking terms! Eventually this is going to happen to you and Judith,
so let’s clear things up now for the voters in 2008.
Here are the marital brass tacks of the next Presidential
Election; Hillary Clinton will run as someone that should have divorced, but
stayed together because she can’t run without him. Michael Bloomberg
will run stag as a divorced billionaire because he can. That leaves you as
someone with the courage to get divorced while on “The Road to the White
House”. It’s the “New, New Third
Way” in politics, with divorce attorney Raul
Felder as the campaign director.
This is beyond a New Yorker’s dream election. It’s just too
New Yorky to be true! In that way this New, New Third Way is you, Rudy, progressive
and maverick and tough. Think of the political benefits (and you know who you
are). If you are willing to divorce your wife while running for President,
there’s nothing you won’t do! Clean up Washington?
Easy decision! End the War on Drugs? Done! The War on Terror? Ditto!
Islamic Fundamentalists never divorce or discard their wives
(especially through a press conference), they just keep adding more. Your
actions in divorce court-patriotic at this point-would really put them on their
heels.
Who was the one guy the German’s feared in World War II?
That’s right, your hero Winston Churchill, because
they thought he was crazy. Drinking, smoking, never sleeping, dictating
battle orders from a bathtub, okay he only had one wife, but still.
Think of the possibilities, not the penalties. If you
acknowledge that marriage is impossible in this day and age, you’ll truly be
tapping into the silent majority. Sure, there would be several weeks of bad
publicity, but that could soon be followed by a Dr. Phil “Reunited” show with
your children, and besides they are the ones you can truly never get away from!
The recent nine-page Vanity Fair article detailing Judith
Nathan’s crimes and misdemeanors of the social kind is just the beginning of a
covert intervention on behalf of your true friends, ex-political hacks and your
true enemies. In fairness, no one can really have this conversation with you.
Everyone close to you works for you and therefore, really, they work for her.
Three marriages and three divorces, so ya’ got a blind spot.
Who doesn’t!
So you’re a little crazy. Well, who else was going to clean
up NYC!
So you’re getting a divorce during a national campaign.
So you’re tough enough to be President!
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