The Providence Journal: December 6, 2008
The sky is falling for hard-core Republicans. The not quite vast enough right-wing conspiracy lost badly on Election Day. Heavy drinking and scowling have begun in earnest. Stiff upper lips will need a fresh shot of Botox. The conservative kooks are in exile, acting scary to get America scared.
Many of these kooks will go stark raving mad, huffing and puffing their way through Obama’s first term. He’s black! He’s a Muslim! He’s a liberal! He’s says he’s a non-smoker, but he’s really a smoker! Sure, Fox News will have it all covered, in ultra-venting style, but let us prepare for the Exile of the Insufferable, and hope that it can be quarantined on Fox.
“Barack Obama is a socialist dictator!”
How quaint. Clearly many conservatives are already neo-mad, and will soon have to up their medications; after all, the future of America is at stake. The hypocritical have such a hard time with change. Back on Republican Main Streets turned Scorsese-mean, years of potential therapy loom. Where does a doctor begin? “Tell me about your problems”? “No, I’ve only got four years; let’s just deal with the economy and get out of Iraq.”
(Bush will probably get things off his chest and feel better through a multimillion-dollar book deal — trickle-down political confessions.)
Where did it all go wrong for the Rush Limbaugh-tarian’s — champions of trillion-dollar government spending programs in Iraq and Wall Street, the big book-enders to the Bush presidency. Joe the Plumber’s Republican mirror now has many faces: nation builders, corporate-welfare providers and budget busters.
If the kooks could acknowledge their failings and hypocrisies then maybe they could embrace Barack, and humbly join the rest of the world in at least hoping for a better tomorrow. Instead, look for enrollment to go up in right-wing fringe organizations, over obscure land and gun issues. The kooks prefer hand-to-hand conflict over reality (and not just at cocktail parties).
The reality is that talk is cheap and necessary, because trickle-down global governance doesn’t work. Just as trickle-down economics no longer works. The world needs to be engaged, warts and all, especially given our Made in China, borrowed in Dubai, bought in Wal-Mart lifestyle. They may be despotic countries with nationalized banks and exploited workers, but they’re our despots, dollars and cheap labor!
Sigh. Presidents and some other politicians of the right may say one thing to get elected, and yet govern very differently to stay elected. The last 16 years of Bush-Clinton certainly can prove that. So as consolation to the inconsolable right, who have been spectacularly wrong lately, perhaps Obama may talk like a Democrat, but govern like a conservative Kansan.
— Chip Benson